if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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