doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
