I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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