There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize