Porn is love you can see.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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