Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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