We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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