How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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