Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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