How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.