Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
