I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
