he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
