on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
