I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
