Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
