your parents love me but you hate me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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