i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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