Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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