Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize