I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
