Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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