Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
