So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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