im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
