My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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