I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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