is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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