My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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