Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm really into asian looking animals
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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