Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him