Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize