Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
