i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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