If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
