So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
