I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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