LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
