U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
