I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
