He is an equal opportunity slut.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
