My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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