Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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