Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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