i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
cat food counts as protein by the way
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
