Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
