So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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