I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
