ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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