Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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