so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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