you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
