HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
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tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"