My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......