I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
