It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize