my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
