Whod you bang
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
