I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
